Deep wounds hurt. That’s the only way to describe certain moments in our lives. These are situations or circumstances that cause us a deep kind of pain. We won’t forget them even though we want to. We all have those kinds of moments.

But why are some people able to deal with them well? Why are some people able to move on and become a better person even through the adversity of these kinds of moments?

On the flip side, why are some people never able to live them down? These moments are brought into what seems like every conversation or relationship. Even worse, they seem to circle in our heads as we remember them time and time again. 

Maybe it’s a family member who left and now you think everyone is going to leave you.

Maybe it’s the lack of friends as a child and now you go about just trying to please everyone. You compromise yourself because you do not want to be alone. 

Maybe it’s the worry that you are not good at anything, so you constantly feel like you have to prove yourself. You work yourself to the point of exhaustion. 

I can absolutely relate to that last one. At sports in particular, I was very average as a kid. I felt like I wasn’t good at anything, or anything worthwhile I told myself. I realized that if I worked really hard at school and jobs, I would be successful. I am in a constant battle now of approaching burnout just to prove to myself that I can do something significant.

In the world of ministry, I have realized that a lot of us have these wounds. And many of us do not seek healing from these wounds. As a result, they control our lives. They dictate what we say, what we think, and how we act. They rob us from knowing true joy and love. They are more common than we think. I wonder if we dig down really deep, we would see that the root of a lot of our conflicts and anxieties is from an un-treated wound.

Sometimes, it’s from a one-time event, sometimes it’s from a season in life. But the result always seems the same: our growth is either stunted or crippled. 

I can’t go into all of the ways to seek healing from these wounds in this blog. For now, identify if you have any. Ask God for healing. And seek the help of a trusted friend, spiritual director, counselor, or minister who can walk you through it all.

I am reminded of some powerful words from Jesus:
“It is finished.” –John 19:30

Jesus has won. Your wounds no longer have to define you.